Posts Tagged ‘family’

May 1, 2015 •
…And no, she isn’t “all of us” or some similar sentiment. She was real, and she lived in Deepwell, and I know almost all of the story. Grab a cup of tea or some popcorn, and settle in; it’s storytime.

Honestly, I had given up. Padma and I hit a brick wall in our database inquiries a few years ago, and with all the other things going on in town and my PODCare commitments, I just didn’t have the time or the energy to push further. I knew Ruby must be an alias, or a nom de plume, but I wasn’t getting any hits on that name. Then Nora went to France with her French class for their new Study and Care Abroad program. She came back with a charming accent and an iPod full of French music, among other things. The evening she returned home, she hung out in the kitchen with Brian and me, chattering away about the Louvre, and volunteering at l’hôpital, and plugged her iPod into the dock so she could set the mood. While we made supper (bouillabaisse, in Nora’s honor) we listened to Charles Aznavour, and Edith Piaf, and even some Maurice Chevalier. Then the song, “Puits profond de mon coeur,” poured into the room, with a smoky, sad voice. It’s been a long time since my one year of high school French, but even I could recognize the words “deep” and “well.” Oh yeah, Nora exclaimed, I thought that was cool, a French song with “deep well” in the title. It’s by an old singer named Rubi du Bois. I dropped my ladle in shock. It couldn’t be a coincidence!

So now I had a name and a place. Rubi du Bois in Paris, circa 1970, the year the song came out.  Was this really our Ruby?  I learned everything I could about her, depending on Nora and Google to translate as most of the material I found was in French.  The best I could piece together was that Rubi had moved to Paris in the 60s, and, most important, there was a mention of a sister named Evelyn who lived in Chicago.  I knew I was on the right track.  Evelyn must have lived in Deepwell at some point.

There haven’t been that many Evelyns in Deepwell over the years, which helped.  If you’ve lived in Deepwell for as long as MeelieSue and Brian’s parents and a few others have, you may have heard the sad story of Richard and Evelyn Broward.  That family was in the newspaper quite a few times over the years, none of it good.  Out of respect for the family, I’ll not repeat the stories here, but the curious can come down to the library and read the microfiche just like I did.  Just keep in mind that this is someone’s personal history, and there is still a lot of pain out there.

So things being what they are, I have put faces to those long-ago names and I know something that Etta doesn’t, for probably the first time since we both moved to Deepwell, heh. Ruby was originally Rosemary, and she is Etta’s aunt.

Rosemary Alice Carr, aka Rubi du Bois, aka Ruby Wood, died September 12, 2009 in Paris, and was cremated and interred there, the only place she truly felt at home.  Her gift to Deepwell was her attempt to reconcile with her past, and give hope for the future.  There is one other person who plays a part in this story, but I think she needs to tell her side of things for herself.  And no, it’s not Etta.  Although I’m sure Etta has a few questions of her own.

R, if you’re out there and you’re reading this, please speak up.

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Aug 20, 2014 • I have just learned the Emelia, the woman who helps take care of my parents, might have to leave the country?!?? Emelia is 65 years old and has lived in the US for over 30 years! This is ridiculous! I don’t know what to do. Emelia is a shining light of positive energy who came into our lives when mom had her second stroke, like an angel sent to us when we needed her most. Now she is like a wonderful Aunt who gives great advice and tries to fatten me up “because men like a little meat on those bones”. I *need* Emelia, she is family now, we can’t function without her.
Actually, little does she know, but I have recently started dating someone. I’m not ready to say who yet on who but I will say that is someone newly transplanted to Deepwell and he is a super nice guy.
Also Greta and Ingrid are Zoo Flu negative, thank god. Honestly I don’t know what I would do without my little girls.

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Well my brother has really done it this time. He was driving home late last Saturday and got pulled over. They decided to search the car and found marijuana (big surprise!). Fortunately it was just a small amount. He has a court date set for next month. Because it’s his first offense we think it will just be a fine and mandatory NA meetings. So this could actually really be a blessing in disguise, if my brother actually wants to quit. I’m being “supportive sister/daughter” right now but I would be lying if i didn’t confess that there is a part of me saying “Its about time!!”.

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Dec 26, 2012 • I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately. I feel less involved with whats going on in Deepwell, like I’ve lost touch. I hate feeling like I’m letting everyone down, most of all myself.

Between taking care of my parents, my friend Sam, trying to keep the store in business and worrying about my brother, I think I am about to lose it.
When I get home the only thing that I want to do is drink a glass of wine (or three) and watch old episodes of Sex and the City.

Even Greta and Ingrid (my dogs) are looking at me like “Whats wrong with you?!?!”

I guess the biggest problem is that I haven’t really been taking care of myself. It’s a fine line. To be a good caregiver do you put everyone else first, like I have been, and in doing so neglect yourself? Or do you put yourself first so that you can be a better caregiver? Actually I think I might have just answered my own question.

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April 15, 2011 • It’s been over a year now since Ruby messed up our lives.  I know that sounds harsh, but it’s beginning to be the way I feel.  On top of my other responsibilities–my kids, my husband, my job, my mom, Brian’s parents–I have taken on this massive project, and frankly the results are discouraging so far.  I have provided the town with lots of information, good people like oaklandfiddler and modined have shared their stories and suggestions, and yet that stupid “care index” is going down, not up.

What do we have to do to improve the way we care?  We’ve talked a lot about it, but what have we actually done? It seems like we are struggling just to get the conversation started.  Everyone who comes into the library gets a flyer and a finger-point to my shelf of resources, and mostly I just get back polite nods, tight smiles or outright blank looks. People are more interested in the new books shelf or the periodicals rack than they are in PODCare meetings or town wikis or community support directories.

That directory–the one I was so hopeful about, the one that would unite the people who need care with the people with the resources–has turned into a listing of realtors and handymen and a few other trades. As my kids say, WTF.   (more…)

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